I persist in this tepid purgatory. I see no way out.
There is no glimmer of light shining beneath the surface to guide me to an escape.
Clawing my way around, I wonder if I'm to be relegated to this existence forever.
Is this it? Is there any hope of escape?
This cannot be my penance. Is this a test or a punishment?
An act of love or a curse?

If separation from God is hell then I am there.
How else could one characterize a dearth of feeling?
A lack of hearing? It's a perpetual emptiness with no sign of hope nor escape.
Be not deceived, this is a hell of sorts.
There is no heaven to be found in the desert; if not salvation there is only needless suffering.
Salvation feels far from me and suffering is as real of a feeling as I can possibly muster.
How can I worship and praise when I cannot see and I cannot feel?
Such a thing feels nigh impossible and certainly unsubstantial.

What can I do and how can I be delivered?
I've earned nothing nor am I deserving of any transcendent thing.
Still I have faith in the promises.
I trust and question why they are not being fulfilled in me.
Is there a lesson I need to learn here, or am I just lost forever—drifting in the milky mire that only just keeps me afloat.